There's something about gritting your teeth, screaming as loud as you can, swearing with an ounce of pride in your voice that feels so oddly satisfying at one point in time, and can end up making you dread everything but that. You come to rely on your voice. It's the teaspoon of power you have left.

Mr. Futt, run to the horizon with me?

Fuck the pills, fuck the doctors. I have one, or maybe two people that can make me incredibly happy instead.

I am afraid of losing you.

Myk Carroll - he's got no regard.

I'm at Flinders Street station, having a grand time with Myk and Steph. I just saw Saw VII - most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I jammed with a busker, it made my day and for the first time in a while; I'm having a great fucking time. Fuck yeah.

'I run into walls because I'm THAT indie'

JUST MY HOT DATE WITH MYK CARROLL TONIGHT.

I'm sitting on tiles and it's kind of fucking cold. But I'm not moving, no I am not because I'm too damn cosy.

FUCK.

It's kind of disappointing, but I miss my old life.

Although, I love who and what I've got now, so I guess that's okay.

It was a cold and it was a broken Hallelujah.

Jeff Buckley - you fucking rock star.

MONIQUE

YOU

ARE

THE

BEST

I

LOVE

YOU

I'm not a miracle, I'm not a saint. Just another soldier on the road to no where..

DID YOU FEEL IT WHEN THEY TOOK IT AWAY?

No, I did not run away from sadness. I am not pathetic and I didn't blame anyone else. No one can control my emotions, no one can have me. I did not waste my self and I certainly did try and fight it.

Her steps on an empty stage.

MY

FAVOURITE

PEOPLE

IN THE

ENTIRE

WORLD

I am sick of telling people my story.

You're trying to fix me, you're blaming it all on me when really it's all your fault and you still have no idea.

MARK WILKINSON,

MADI GRANTHAM

AND JOE PAPESCH.

I MISS YOU ALL DEARLY.

fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuume

I'm glad Steph and I yelled at you today at the station because you know, you fucking deserved it. You fat fucking bitch.

You mean the world to me.

You're within the rules yet only barely within the convention of loyalty.

"I try and write, but it's too surreal. I try and believe, but I just deny. I try and speak, but nothing comes out. Nothing can stop me, no body can save me now."

Something between the burning light and the dusty shade.

Alex Rohan, you make me feel so, incredibly happy.

DARCIE
I MISS YOU
SO MUCH

Stephen, you make me feel so much more emotionally fucked up than I was to start with.

Try sit there and listen to your father telling you who you are, when it's completely wrong.

"If I am not creating, I will die."

The philosophy of thought and doubt is simply, time in wonder.

A cigarette and then sleep could possibly be the best idea right now.

Sigur Rós yeah? Yeah.

And for the first time, I felt what it was like to be alive.

You were just so utterly painful, you were amibiguous, you've never done much for me. Your presence is delivering, it brings me fulfilled happiness and yeah, I'm okay with that.

- Asia

Capturing essential stillness.

Would you lie in your backyard and stare at the stars with me? Would you lie next to me and forgive me for the trouble I've seemed to be? From head to toe, would you let the detrimental worries flow out into the dark sky? Would you give the pernicious past to the soul that lie beneath us?

AND SHE'S DANCING WITH

THE HANDS OF FATE.

PLEASE STOP HER PAIN.

But I have only the best conversations when my Robinhood and I are stoned - so intelligent, so open minded, so surreal.

I love the, 'no-dinner-on-Sunday-nights-whilst-the-family-is-out-at-dinner-whilst-I'm-having-a-coffee-and-cigarette-on-the-balcony-drawing-and-writing' sort of Sundays.

You had just brought once again, another warm smile to my face and that infamous, 'Carl Barron chuckle'.

Well, from here on out I'm hear for you. I'll put my pain aside for you. But promise me one thing; if things get ever get out of hand, promise me you will come to me? Even if it's just a phone call?

I will do anything for you, I'd run across the desert - just to make you happy.
I promise.

I am doing all that I can

I LOVE TO DRAW.

You'd be waiting in vain

Without me, you got it all. So hold on.

Steph, I'm sorry that I will never be as greatly dedicated to school and our family as you are. Now please, stop yelling at me. Things are difficult at the moment and you're not even there to support me and catch me from falling.

I made that for you Priscilla, my baby

I need a neck massage..

I'm at the shitty stage of drunkeness, where I can sober type, feel like shit and express real emotion. Somebody please hear me out?

We get it, you were drunk and drinking at a party last night. The whole of Facebook gets it, we don't need to know about stories that you've posted everywhere.

Brianna: Well, thank you Tian, but I don't want to bring you down.
Tian: I don't care, I want to bring you up.

I am suffering.

You make my darkest days, shine a little.

I am in a shit mood already and I haven't even gotten out of bed. I think a coffee and a cigarette out the back, sitting on my bucket, in this weather, it would be quite pleasant.

We just have to keep trying.

There's a drumming noise inside my head, that throws me to the ground. I swear that you should hear it, it makes such an almighty sound.

It's future us or future dust.

MYK CARROLL I LOVE YOU

Apparently I'm going to fuck up my own life

Everything is fucking up, and it's frightening to know that I can't turn back but yet it's so god damn comforting to believe that everything happens for a reason.

"To sleep on my bean bag because I can’t face the thought of sleeping in my bed, childish thoughts run rampant through my mind when I'm alone. This anxiety is killing me; my night light doesn’t work anymore because being in the light scares me more than the dark, you can see whats coming to get you. "

to the writer;

don't let little the little things ruin the greater things, because otherwise the greater things have no purpose.

there's a secret that only i can tell you. a secret that only you can read, and what you said.. it goes both ways.

you made my birthday the best possible birthday i could've had. you're amazing, so, thanks.

if you can wait to smile, then i can't wait to see you. just be happy, because their stubbornness isn't easily changed.

i'm a victim in a "villain".

'If you continue to sabotage your life like you are now, you need psychriatric help. If you want to live somewhere else, where you think it will be in your best interest, we'll help you go there.'


I fucking hate you both so much, all you do is cause misery and grief in not just your own but other people's families.

This whole situation is showing me how much you mean to me, how much my heart is always open to you and how much I would do for you.

All I want is a huge hug from you, but I'm sorry, I am not allowed to see you.

What is coming to the world? Parental boundaries and the police restricting the one person that probably makes me the most happy.
What
The
Fuck
Is
Coming to the world?

THE MODERN CAPULET AND MONTAGUE WHAT WHAT?

I always find that I'm fighting to see the ones I love.

Darwin 2010, yeah mannnnn

It's your birthday, and I have realised that you are probably one of the most special people in my life at the moment. I have missed you, and I'm seeing you today which is excellent. I would give you and the other special few the world if I could, have the best day ever big boy, you fucking deserve it.

What I am to you, is not real.

"ISN'T
THIS
EXCITING
!?!?!?!"

Mum, if you do read this - which you probably will because you stalk everything I do now. Number one: get off my blog, this is like my diary and I'd appreciate some privacy. Number two: how you kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug from behind when I was eating my toast on the stairs meant so much to me and I know you did it then when dad was in the shower so he couldn't see. You're the poo, mum.

You fight for want you believe, you try and stop the situations. You cannot stop situations, you cannot stop the world. Ignorant prick.

I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog. I have a photo kissing a green tree frog.

Darcie, it's been said before and I now have evidence.

I cannot live without you.

Just seeing your face and then imagining you crying to me on the phone, begging for me to come home. It makes me want to cry, it breaks me.

If I was to be asked by my parents what I had learned from fleeing to Darwin, I'd just reply with, 'those who make you unhappy are not worth your breath. Just because I come out of your vagina and was split out of your sperm cell, does not give me full obligation to say I love you'. To be honest, I don't even like you.

Cause I stole your soul. You said I'd never be able. The whole world is still on my string.

I WAS MAULED BY SAND FLIES








The Second and last photos are mocking the possessed girl and her nakey photos, hahahaha

Third one: my favourite photo.. Ever.

Once again, stealing Maccas wifi

HOT POTATO




'OH MY GOD, FUCKING GORDONS'

So this is what it feels like, fighting for those you love..

ZOMGBLARINGSNOOPDOGGINMACCASCARPARK

Macca's conversation with a fat bitch, 'my boss is a clown'.. Girl are you serious? It's 4:53am, we need sleep and YOU are trying to convince me it's completely fair that grimace or his other mates aren't equally your boss. WHAT THE FUCK?
We're completely sober, we're eating a shit load and this fat chick is fucking with my mind!
Fuck yeah

This is Darcie and I, on Kendal and Stu's bed.

This is my room, with Stephanie on my bed.

STEPHANIE, I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

Everything will be okay in the end, just remember that.

Whilst I just got here and I am already happy and you're down there, in Melbourne. I should have taken you with me, I'm sorry. Forgive me, Stephanie? I miss you already.

I hope you read those letters and something inside of you just shattered into a million and one pieces. You deserve it.

Your face was fucking priceless!

Well, this is it guys I'm in the hot, muggy town of Darwin. I ran away from home, I caught a bus to the airport and a plane to Darwin.
Dad told me to fuck off if I didn't like it there, so I did. He deserved it.

I AM STILL A FUCK UP,
KICKITY PUSH PUSH

'I'd so buy the album if that song said that'

My hair has grown!

Everybody is working for nothing, nothing even matters anymore.

My parents are attempting to kill me... Psychologically and socially. That's love.

Why now? Blown out of control. Should I stop talking to you for a while?

FUCK, FUCKED UP AGAIN.

FAR FUCKING OUT

THIS
IS
ABSURD
YOU
ARE
ABSURD

Monique Pit! I never knew she ate children, that's so unbelievably horrid!

Cherry, I miss our old conversations!

I know what you are! You're a devouring bear!

The one time, I do not want to pack up and shower. You and I are having a great conversation for once. Instead lately, we're always small talking. And if we hate small talk, why are we doing it?

Respect: zero

Found out so much shit today, can't believe my ears. They're burning in chaos, haha I hate you tubby.

I'm gonna fight them all, a nation army couldn't hold me back. They're gonna rip it off, taking their time right behind my back. And I'm talking to myself at night, because I can't forget. Back and forth through my mind, behind a cigarette. And the message coming from my eyes,
Says leave it alone.

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alone who is youer than you. - Dr. Seuss.

A Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
As the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind
And I wanna be there when you're...
Coming down
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground
So don't go away say what you say
But say that you'll stay
Forever and a day...in the time of my life
Cos I need more time yes I need more time
Just to make things right
Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
About all the things caught in my mind
Me and you what's going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

I'm the ghost in the back of your head.

France, London or New York next year?

So my sister and I were talking outside before, having the casual cigarette, you know - the usual? We were briefly talking about exchange, and London and New York came into conversation.
The conversation had ended.
Until then, Steph excused herself and headed to the bathroom to dye her hair. Before you know it, I hear her thumping, sprinting down the stairs and jumps down the last couple of stairs, stops and opens her arms and says 'lets go to France!' in her bra and underwear.
Lovely Steph, just lovely.
So it looks like Steph and I, and perhaps Monique are making our way over to France next year for a visual arts trip.
Shit fucking yes.

I love the way you move when you're stoned.

Hey fatty, have you even noticed that every second of your status' are about food or the goodness of food? Oh, the irony.
Fuck, you. are. so. god damn ignorant.

I find it rather humorous that my father has to bribe me and my sister with Stereosonic tickets and Steph becoming ungrounded, just to get a god damn job. Good one Stephen, you never fail me.

Why don't you come on over, Valerieeeeeeeeee?

Wow, I just witnessed how awkward it is to be asked about a made up story you know nothing about when you should.

THIS IS OUTWARD BOUND.

Our only day of flat hiking, thanks to Josh faking he hurt his ankle.

Madi, Stefan, Adrian and I shadows.

This is the photo I told Madi to take, because it is probably the best rainbow I had ever seen.

Dom, Zeke, Bruce, Mark and Madi. God, I miss you guys.


Ma, the rains are literally coming.

This is Madi and I at Canberra airport. Our last goodbye.

This is the group, when we had just finished our last hike. Glorious, just glorious..

Except Bruce, he was off to the side napping.

Amatore says:
I dont think I've ever been more proud of a person than I am with you right now.

brianna says:
Really?
You're amazing, Joel

Happiness is not an emotion nor feeling - it's a stale state of mind that will stick with you forever. It's just like love, you just have to wait.

I can't even grasp this feeling, I am that happy.

Why would someone even think of turning Jeff Buckley down in my household? How dare they?

It's amazing how so much can happen in so little time

If you're slowly falling, sometimes it's better to fuck up then get back straight up on your feet.

Does that send some indirect warmth to your heart?

I would do horrible things to your vagina...
R.I.P your clitoris!

You and I are living in the Keebler elf tree. Why are you visiting other trees? There's seven people sitting on my knees.
What is so funny?
It doesn't hurt, to let you know. We are just sitting in a bowl.
Join the crazy train bro, please.

He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy...

Oh, how I have been longing for one of these moments again. Home alone, it's that Thursday night, I didn't go to school nor did I feel shit today. I'm drinking my coffee, smoking my cigarette and embracing the moment of an empty house. The humble feeling inside me when I'm doing so, hearing Jeff Buckley's sweet, sweet voice blaring uncontrollably in the loungeroom. This is what I have been waiting for.

Bon Iver = 'Bon' - 'Niv' - 'Verr'
Bon Iver means 'winter' in French.
The band, 'Bon Iver' filmed their first film clip,
'Wolves Part I & II' in Alaska in winter.
The band is French.
Go figure?

Getting into Damien Rice again! Fucking yes, fantastic rhythm.

That good type of music that makes my toes crunch together.. Oh god!

You know what I need? I need god damn Chinese food!

Won't you hear me out?

Baby, did you forget to take your meds?

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

Where were you while we were getting high?

It is now I feel the need for bed. Good night.

Right now, I've got it all. I'm holding on. I never knew this feeling existed, I was so naive and oblivious. This is happiness, and I have never felt so alive in my life.

She's standing by a broken tree.

She's standing outside, holding me - saying oh please, I'm in love.

My hair... Softer than ever! Yeah boy!

Imagine there's no heaven?

I've seen your flag on the marble arch, and love is not a victory march. It was a cold, and broken Hallelujah.

And at the end of the day, remember the days when we were close to the edge and we'll wonder how we made it through the night. The end of the day, remember the way we stayed so close 'til the end. We'll remember it was me and you.

Nothing's changed, I'm still on the road to no where.

This is us; hiking - working hard.

There's this drawing of a tree. This tree has thirteen individual branches which represent thirteen individual kids. Twelve leaves to represent to represent the twelve days we spent together. We don't stop growing as our parents are the trees fertilizer but our support.

This is a sketch of the first coffee that brought me civilization to my mind. Hudsons coffee - cappucino, two sugars and a sprinkle of vanilla on top.