Raped Of Being

By me

When the walls are closing in on you which way do you turn? What is it that you can do to get yourself out of this space? You stand, facing the vast blankness of walls as they impinge upon you. The life you once had now desecrated. Told it is all only temporary, maybe... but not without permanent effect. You know you can’t let these walls envelope you with their entire enormity. Embarking to salvage whatever you can, there’s nothing from before that is there now.

No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter with whom you’re with. It’s you and the walls.

You can paint them. You can dress them with framed memories of what once was. You wonder if even cleaning them and scrubbing off the scuffs will present them in an acceptable way you’ve never before imagined. Open to all possibilities you try.

No time out called in this wrestling ring, wasting your much needed energy, you continue on one day at a time. One could argue the walls don’t move “just accept them and deal with it. It’s not about you.” There’s no escape. No understanding or empathy. You take them everywhere you go. The plaster turns into the internal binding of your heart. You are immersed and the walls lose their physical existence and become the very essence of who you are able to be. Accept this? Deal with it? You have no choice. All that’s left is for you to remember who you are. It becomes your continuous mantra.

A mantra that becomes a tune that no longer charms to reason. Your life has changed. Do you even have one or is it all in aid of rebuilding the life of others. What happened to yours? Re-evaluating your purpose, is life really about what it currently is? – Is it about living for others unselfishly rather than about living for yourself and others with some self-interest? What happens when your mantra no longer matters? The walls close in and you succumb to being. Just being. Nothing but the servant of others for the benefit of them to live their own lives. You can only hope that such generosity of sacrifice is acknowledged not by others but by yourself internally and for eternity.